Find a Husband After 35

For Christmas my aunt gave me a self-help book Find a Husband After 35, which provides a 15 step action plan based on "simple marketing tactics" the author learned at Harvard Business School.  I won't bother launching into a feminist critique of this, since I'm over 35, do want to get married, and appreciate my aunt's desire to help.   However it brings to mind the popular book a few years ago "The Rules", which I consider calculating and inauthentic. 

In browsing through the book, I think it may be intended for someone that hasn't done much dating (which isn't my issue)  or for someone that's shy (also not my issue).  I'm not so sure about her suggestions for building a personal brand, guerrilla marketing, and telemarketing.  It all seems a bit forced.  One of her suggestions however -- for online marketing aka -- online dating I've already begun.

2011 and counting...
I've been trying online dating since January and have yet to meet anyone that rocks my world :(  This is despite over 2000 guys (2011 to be exact) reviewing my profile and averaging about 5 men emailing me a day.  It was signficantly higher, about 25 a day, until I got frustrated by the number of men who contacted me who clearly hadn't read my profile about wanting to have kids.  I've now specifically requested that men only contact me if they want a family. 

I've been relatively selective and think given my past 20 years or so of experience in dating I know by now what I'm attracted to and not:  must be in shape, with a job that makes as much or more than I do, between 35-49, non-smoker, preferably no kids (I'm flexible on this), full head of hair, fun, compassionate, well-educated, likes to travel/move, and I'm open to almost any location in the world though if he lives in the burbs in Vancouver (unless it's the North shore) he's automatically deleted -- I'm just not a bridge and tunnel girl ;)

My friend James thinks I'm being too narrow in my criteria and be more open to the types of guys I'll go out with.  I'm not so sure.  Surely out of the approximately 14 million men in the US alone that do online dating there's a perfect match for me? 

Maybe I need to go to Timbuktu ;)

More to come...

Comments

[James]

Hey Lori, you're a beautiful, smart, talented woman. Lots of guys would be beyond their luck to go out with you.

On dating, I have no advice or input. Good luck!

[LLP]

[Blush] Thanks James :) p.s. I really enjoyed your novel "Up In Ontario", it was poignant and engaging.

[Kelly]

Remember, a woman doesn't need a man to have children in this day in age! ( I remember my art teacher back in 9th grade telling me this and here I am repeating her 20 years later.) I was worried when I was 15 that I would never marry because of some acne on my face, lol. You can adopt or go to a sperm bank she told me. Marriage is not all that it is cracked up to be. Look around you when you are out in public. The most stressed out and unhappy people are married and the ones having all the fun are single! I'm 35, female, never been married and quite poor but very cute and attractive. Whenever I start feeling an urge to get married or have a baby I remind myself of all the whores that married women with children go through and then I really dont feel so bad. I feel blessed. Yes, truly blessed to be single. The funny thing is, is that in NO way am I a feminist. I'm very traditional but I believe that no woman should EVER have a "goal" of getting a husband. And no woman or man for that matter should ever settle for anything but the absolute best! Did Cinderella make it a "goal" to get a prince? It just happened. I'm 35, traditional and poor and I tell you there is no way in hell I would date a guy older than 38. ( Plus,I have no material goods to bring to the table, just my cute, sweet, self.)Men who are looking to date younger women USUALLY have very low self- esteem. Self-esteem is the key to attracting really good relationships, whether romantic or non-romantic. You don't need money, you don't need to do desperate things, you certainly dont need to settle. You need to be yourself, love yourself and have faith that if it is meant to be it will happen. If it never does,then you can rejoice that you will never have to pick up a man's dirty socks, listen to him snore or ever have to sleep on that wet spot again. Ahhhh the glory of being single! Hehe.

[George]

I was clicking around and somehow landed on your blogs. I found your posts really hilarious. :) I'm surprised you haven't met the right man after 2000+ emails from men!

btw, nice travel photos of Peru, I'm thinking about going there next year! One way of meeting guys is to do more travelling. I heard Italian men are really aggressive! :)

There is always someone out there for somebody. Trying to find a date through the internet might not be the solution. Things will happen when you least expect it. The most important thing is that you know exactly who/what you want.

[Lori]

Thanks George :) I agree with you about internet dating. Something about it seems simply unnatural. To be honest after the fun time I've had the past 2 months, I'm not so keen on finding a boyfriend or a husband anytime soon ;) Who knew singleton could be such a blast? Stay tuned for more posts on this topic...

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